Redefining Myself!

(written for "Crossing Over" 2006)

 Marvelling at the nature. Canada, Rogers Pass 2006.
 

     My home is the world. Being born in Armenia, raised in Russia and Germany and now I living in Canada, the question about my origin seems difficult to answer. So, how do I conceive myself? I wonder, whether it will be possible to reflect upon myself and my nature without considering the social and cultural environment I live in. It seems to me that those social and cultural factors define and transform our internal nature. So, I do see my life as part of my environment. I was born in Armenia, one of the most ancient countries of the world and the first Christian nation. However, being born in a time when Armenia was still part of the Soviet Union, religion lost its importance in Armenian society. Do I consider myself as a Christian? Yes and no. I believe in God but I do not accept the religious institutions. Thus, my definition of God is not attached to the common notion and depictions of God. I would rather imagine God as a spirit or driving force, something that remains within us and is not projected outward.

                                          Marvelling at Frankfurt. Germany, Maintower, 2000.

     The question of how to perceive my relation with the world became more and more complicated to answer when I moved to Germany with my parents. I was quite excited to learn how different their culture was from mine and within which social frames was their society operating. To live and to learn in this new country this with its own culture seemed to me like an adventure that I was ready to undertake. So, I did. I studied medicine in Germany and enjoyed to learn more about human body and its nature. In the early years of my medical education I took an introductory course in Chinese medicine. My initial skepticism towards eastern medicine faded when I learned that this type of healing was still practiced today producing remarkable results.  Having been confronted with such a deep knowledge that existed for thousands of years influenced my notion of western medicine and knowledge in terms of its idealized nature. Which is the best way, what type of medicine works the best? There is no definite answer to that. I believe that the combination of both makes the difference. Thus, my interest in medicine grew deeper and deeper. 
 

    But what I find as most remarkable is the cultural diversity that I encountered in Vancouver. Reflecting again upon my own social experiences and encounters I realized that my own cultural diversity would find a new dimension. Once again I immersed myself into the journey of rediscovering myself within this new society. So, what are my ideas about art, nature, culture and so on? Moreover, how are the traditional ideas of art and culture to be interpreted in the Canadian society? The answer lay in the nature.  I was fascinated with the beauty of the nature in British Columbia. The majestic mountains, smoothing sounds of the ocean, marvellous sunsets and ancient forests that keep their secrets within their old roots made an unforgettable impression on me. A new idea of art, the art of the nature revealed itself to me in its fertility and beauty. Hence, I thought that when nature and art seem to be so connected with each other then the Canadian culture might as well be connected with the nature. However, this fusion between nature and culture was best depicted in the native art. Functionality in art clashed with my notion of art as art for arts sake. Once again, my journey seems to take another path leading through a diverse country such as Canada.